FAQs Conflict Resolution
In a Self Managed Organisation peers hold each other to account for their mutual commitments and responsibilities, and don't “externalize” the responsibility to a Line Manager.
Can conflict actually be good in organizations?
There is tension in our team, everybody knows it’s there. But we don’t talk about it, we don’t want to create a conflict
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Let’s accept and embrace conflict. When ignored, tensions grow bigger, not smaller
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Talking about conflicts can bring relief and is a great opportunity to strengthen the connection with others
Can we change our perspective about conflict?
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Can we approach it as a possibility to move to a “better place” together? A place in which we can learn something new about ourselves and others, gain new perspectives and/or build trust into a relationship?
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What if we use Conflict as a generative and transformational experience, and not so much as “I win - You lose”?
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Let's argue, debate, and exchange different points of view in a productive, direct, and caring way.
Can we get some benefit out of conflict by creating space for it?
“People who do not fully grasp the concept that Conflict of some sort is necessary, and even desirable, to teaming, are destined to fail in all but the most routine of work environments.”
Conflict is not a unitary construct. There are 3 dimensions/types of conflict.
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Relationship Conflict: Personal, Emotional, Affective. “I don't like this person”.
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Task Conflict: Collaboration and inclusion (everyone’s voice) to get to the best possible solution. “What’s the best solution?”.
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Process Conflict: ”Defining roles, tasks, deliverables, timelines, decision-making, meetings, etc. “How do we get this done?"
What do I do if I have a conflict with someone? What’s the process I should follow?
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Self-reflect and check in with yourself
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The 2 people sit together and try to sort it out privately (More on this below)
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Get a trusted mediator
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Group mediation
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The founder or CEO might be called into the panel to add to the panel’s moral weight.
How to deal with conflict with a peer? 2 people sit together and try to sort it out privately.
It’s a lot easier to find what’s wrong with others than to communicate clearly our feelings and needs. What have I done, or haven’t done, that could potentially cause this situation?
Try to focus on identifying and communicating clearly your feelings and needs, and not on blaming and judging others. When we can clarify together which underlying needs are at stake for each one of us, we gain a lot of insight into what’s important for our colleague team members.
** Which are the steps I have to use to communicate in a Non-Violent way?**
1. Observation: What is happening right now? Start with the situation. Objective facts. “When I see you missing deadlines again and again in this project…”
2. Feelings: What are your feelings? (ie. Glad, Mad, Sad, Afraid, Ashamed.) “I feel frustrated and confused”
3. Needs: What are your needs in this situation? (ie. comfort, support, communication, etc.). “Because I need understanding from everyone on the team”
4. Request. What can we do to meet my/our needs? (Strategies, behaviors, actions). “Would you be willing to define and implement some actions to make sure you deliver on time from now on?”
If you would like to have some tools to support yourself, and the other person, when having a difficult conversation, we recommend the following:
The 4-Part Nonviolent Communication Process (Developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg)